Days Eleven, Twelve and Thirteen

So we just had a long weekend and it really didn’t go so well. I’m still happy to say I’m not smoking, but I’m feeling the toll on what I hope is the Champix.

I’m just so tired all the time. I get up, do what I need to do and then fall back into bed and sleep. Not nap, but a full 4 hr sleep. Even if I did get a good 8-10 hrs the night before.

I’m unmotivated and can’t get into anything that I usually enjoy (like video games). As soon as I stop doing something, I just want to sleep.

My wife has described my demeanor as “flat”. I seem to be hanging on to the first problem I see, so maybe even a sense of paranoia? I’m still able to function and I’m not a blubbering buffoon. But I am concerned about this as it comes across as depression.

To my knowledge I have never really been depressed. However one does wonder why people smoke. And after 25 years of emotional state masked by smoking, who am I really? It’s an interesting thought, but I won’t dig into this too much as it is the last thing I need.

So yesterday I managed to surf the web for a while and look up examples of people that just stopped after two weeks with Champix. Were they able to continue with no smoking.

While researching I stumbled across multiple entries on how people had “changed” after completing or getting off Champix/Chantix. Not usually for the better either. Relationships ending, Unable to function, sex drive depleted. Google is “death” when it comes to self diagnostics, but it did make me think about what is in my future as a non smoker. If I can never shake this fog or get motivated again. the Last thing I want to do is end up at a shrink getting onto anti depressants! .. Anyhow, I’ll move on as once again, signs of paranoia 🙂

So I decided I would stop the Champix. I need to be able to stay awake for work and as the tiredness, just seems to be getting worse, I did not take my last pill last night. Tomorrow I will hang onto it and see how I do. If I start eating babies and swinging from the chandeliers, I can always pop the pill and then pickup the prescription I have waiting. I would prefer not to as I really don’t want to spend another $70.00 on “sleeping pills”!

Fingers Crossed!

Day Ten

Just a short update as not much has changed from 9. Pretty much the same, but the dreams are less vivid. I can no longer guarantee a dream as soon as I’m asleep.

I’m really tired. Everything seems to be too much effort (although I can get through it). I would love to just spend a day in bed with TV/Laptop and doze in and out for a day. It does seem from researching this is a symptom for others too. Looks like 2 weeks is the magic amount of time from pill 1, so that means by next Tuesday I’ll be raring to go right?

Still no urge to smoke, I do get cravings, but I settle them with ice cream, or treats. For now I can get away with it as I could easily find 10 pounds to go somewhere on my body. I would just like the tiredness to move on so I can start doing some physical activities.

Morning cough completely gone, sneezing a lot and a bitter metallic taste every now and then. Senses are on high alert, I smell everything!

I’ll be back probably after the long weekend (Holiday in our part of the world on Monday)

This will be a bit more of a test seeing it is a weekend and first time as a non smoker! 

Day Nine

Usual crazy dreams during the night, but awoke feeling kind of odd. I was tired and had a “craving”, but not for a cigarette. Perplexed I went downstairs, dodging the livestock and was trying to focus on what I needed.

I started grinding the coffee beans and the aroma wafted to my nose. It was the coffee I wanted! What is odd about this, is when going cold turkey, I actually had to avoid coffee as it triggered the need for a cigarette. Today all I wanted was the coffee!

So the morning went fairly uneventful and I sat outside with my coffee quite content. During the day at work I was happy to be able to report again to co workers, “nah .. still done” as they scurried outside. I actually went out a couple of times with them for an “air break” and found I could actually converse without a death stick in my hand.

I had to run an errand during the day, so went for a brisk walk in the sun through our downtown core. For the first time I noticed the number of people outside 20 meters away from entrance as per our by law, puffing away. I thought I would be jealous, but wasn’t. At first I felt sorry for them as I know more than likely they all want to quit. Then I became annoyed, when smokers would dart in front of me or exhale right as I past by. As I live with a non-smoker, I was what I fondly call a “courteous smoker”. I always tried to make sure my filth wasn’t encroaching onto others nearby, especially when Mom and a stroller would come by … hold the smoke in, don’t exhale until they pass…

I certainly don’t want to become a born again non-smoker and start preaching and holding exorcisms on the damned, but I did have to check myself as to why I felt so frustrated when passing some of these folks. Or is it just me overreacting to confirm in my head, smoking is evil?

By the afternoon, when tired from work I had a zillion things to do. Including the dreaded wait at the clinic to get a new prescription. I’m always one to do things in advance, but this time my last current dose runs out on Monday and Monday is a holiday, as Clinics seem to become emergency rooms over long weekends, figured I better get ahead of the game.

After dinner I began to get heartburn which I only ever get when I quit smoking. It could be my diet of snacks and treats during the day or maybe it is actually something physical that goes on. Water is like fire. So added the picking up of Tums to my list

Come time to plop into bed I also noticed a benefit. I usually shower in the morning and at night so I don’t smell like smoke when going to bed, once again thinking of my wife. I was so tired, but I was able to skip it! Bonus for me, my wife and I guess the environment considering we have had no rain in 6 weeks as well as the pocket book

I was VERY pleased with today. I have not been able to go a second day and still function at such a high level, mentally and physically. I do have moments of “zoning”, but just a few seconds. I have also noticed a tingly feeling through my arms and torso. Which from research is a physical side affect from not smoking. I will assume I’m going to get the clearing cough, bowel issues, sense of smell and taste along with the other side affects/benefits as I’m not sure Champix takes care of that, but so far things are rolling well

All I wanted was to be able to continue to function as I don’t have the option to stay in bed for a week .. I’m really happy how things are going!